The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James

Author:John W. James
Language: nld
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins

Instructions for the Listening Partner

Sit a reasonable distance away. Avoid a sense of being in your partner’s face or smothering him or her.

As the listening partner, you may laugh or cry, if appropriate, but you may not talk!

Do not touch your partner. Touch usually stops feelings.

Remember the image of being a heart with ears. Do your best to stay in the moment and really listen to your partner’s story.

Instructions for the Talking Partner

Try to tell your loss history graph in half an hour or less. This is not a rigid rule, but be careful not to turn the entire meeting into a long monologue, which would have no value for you.

If you cry, try to keep talking while you cry. Push the words up and out, rather than swallowing them. People tend to choke off feelings in their throat.

When you finish your graph, ask your partner for a hug (assuming you’ve made hugs safe).

After getting your hug, take a few minutes to talk again about the misinformation you learned following your losses as well as the short-term energy-relieving behaviors you may have participated in. This is an ideal opportunity to see the connection between your beliefs and the limits they may have put on your recovery.

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